I hate your face
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize