bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
