You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
