What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
two words: eviction party
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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