OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
