I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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