im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
