"it" just moved
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
