I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
