Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
