oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
