Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
