i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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