She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you told grandpa to call you daddy
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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