We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize