Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
