I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
