Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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