I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
