Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize