Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
