i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
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