You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
