Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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