i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
