i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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