Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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