Do vagina's smell?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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