If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
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