You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
