Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you bring me the toilet please
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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