you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
