I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
