Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
