that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
honey bunches of taint.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
