At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
being pregnant is like rehab
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
