He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize
