I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
