i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
