so that wasnt chicken after all
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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