I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
