"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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