1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Porn is love you can see.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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