it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
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Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
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That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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