I wish I could punch you in the face.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm passing your future prison.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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