My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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