I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
