even my farts smell like vagina
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
