No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
