It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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