Have you finally orgasmed yet?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
