idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
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