Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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