I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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