I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
