he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
