Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
