I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
