In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I need to stop coming to work sober
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize