so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
