I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
