1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
