I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
