You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
