i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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